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Ask Ustaz Haniff: Umrah Without Husband & Paying for His Umrah Trip

11th October 2016 by Corp Comms

Worshippers preparing for prayers at the Masjid An-Nabawi.

Worshippers preparing for prayers at the Masjid An-Nabawi.

Republished from Ustaz Haniff’s Facebook with his kind permission. Edited by Perdaus and translated by Azma Abu Basri.

Ask Ustaz Haniff #7: Umrah Without Husband & Paying for His Umrah Trip

Query:

I will receive my EPF savings this year, amounting to about RM100,000. With that money, I intend to bring my mother to perform Umrah, for it has been her wish since several years ago. For your information, my mother has performed the Haj in 1999. My queries:

1. May I perform the Umrah with my mother but without my husband’s company? (My husband allows this, but is not ready to perform it and cannot afford it, financially)

2. I do have the intention to fund my husband’s Umrah trip, as I understand his financial limitations. However, I have doubts because of his social background. I am worried that he might not change his ways for the better.

What is the ruling, for me to have these kind of thoughts? Please advise me, as I lack an in-depth knowledge of the religion.

Response:

1. Theologically speaking, it is permissible for a married woman to perform Umrah without her husband, if the latter consents.

The possible issue is whether you can obtain an umrah visa without a male mahram.

You need to refer this matter to the agency coordinating umrah trips in your country.

In general, women of a certain age may be able obtain Umrah visas without their respective male mahrams. It is best to refer this matter to the agency.

2. Your intention and action to pay for your husband’s umrah trip are admirable in our religion, and in sya Allah, you will be granted with great rewards.

The question whether your husband will change for the better is between him and His Lord. If he does not change his ways following the Umrah trip, in sha Allah, it would still not lessen your rewards.


Tanya Ustaz Haniff #7: Umrah Tanpa Suami & Belanja Suami Berumrah

Soalan:

Saya akan menerima simpanan EPF pada tahun ini dalam jumlah lebih kurang RM100,000.

Dengan duit itu, saya berniat untuk membawa ibu saya menunaikan umrah, yang juga hasratnya sejak beberapa tahun lalu. Sebagai makluman, ibu saya telah menunaikan ibadah haji pada tahun 1999.

Kemusykilan saya:

  1. Bolehkah saya menunaikan umrah dengan ibu tanpa ditemani suami? (Suami mengizinkan tetapi belum bersedia dan tidak mampu dari segi kewangan)
  2. Saya terniat juga untuk membelanja suami mengerjakan umrah kerana maklum dengan kemampuan kewangan yang terbatas.

Tetapi, saya berasa was-was kerana latar belakang sosialnya. Saya khuatir dan takut jika beliau tidak berubah ke arah yang lebih baik.

Apakah hukumnya saya berfikiran seperti ini? Tolong nasihatkan saya yang cetek ilmu agama ini.

Jawapan:

1. Di sisi agama, seseorang wanita yang sudah bernikah boleh pergi menunaikan umrah tanpa suaminya, jika beliau telah mengizinkan.

Yang menjadi isu ialah sama ada awak boleh mendapatkan visa umrah jika tiada mahram lelaki. Hal ini, anda perlu rujuk kepada pihak agensi yang mengurus umrah di negara anda.

Umumnya, wanita pada usia tertentu boleh mendapatkan visa umrah tanpa mahram lelaki. Berapakah usia itu, sebaiknya dirujuk kepada agensi.

2. Niat dan perbuatan untuk membelanjakan suami untuk menunaikan umrah terpuji di sisi agama. Ia memberi pahala yang besar, in sya Allah.

Persoalan sama ada suami anda berubah atau tidak, itu soal beliau dengan Allah. Jika beliau tidak berubah, in sya Allah, ia tidak sedikit pun mengurangkan pahala bagi anda.

Filed Under: Malay/Melayu, Q&A, Ust Haniff Tagged With: family, marriage, money, taubat, umrah

Ask Ustaz Haniff: Future Wife Reluctant to Live Away from Her Mother

23rd September 2016 by Corp Comms

From pexels.com

Marriage requires adjustments from all parties, but not everyone can adjust at the same pace. Photo from pexels.com

 

Republished from Ustaz Haniff’s Facebook with his kind permission. Edited by Perdaus and translated by Azma Abu Basri.

Ask Ustaz Haniff #6: Future Wife Reluctant to Live Away from Her Mother

Query:

I have a concern in which my wife-to-be doesn’t want to live away from her mother. She wants her mother to live with us after we are married.

Frankly, I disagree because I feel that I would be uncomfortable with our marital issues being known to my mother-in-law. Surely, I would want some privacy in marriage. Also, I wouldn’t want my parents to feel awkward when visiting our home in the future.

What is the solution to this problem, Ustaz?

Response:

This matter is not so much a religious concern, as it is a marital issue. Therefore, it is best for you to consult a marital counsellor.

There are neither easy nor absolute solutions to this kind of issue. It depends on the given circumstances. There is also no single perfect answer or solution, and there will always be pros and cons to a chosen solution.

Therefore, rationally, and where religion is concerned, the guideline is to decide on a solution that has its benefits outweighing its costs.

The process requires you to discuss with your wife-to-be and her mother on you respective hopes and expectations, in negotiating the best (but not necessarily the most perfect) outcome.

Your wish for privacy and being independent is valid, but it doesn’t mean that it has to happen overnight.

Marriage requires adjustments from all parties, but not everyone can change and adjust at the same pace. Any changes should be gradual. This may be what your wife-to-be need, with your support.

Remember too, that maybe what is best is not for you to expect your wife-to-be to change, but instead, for you to invest effort in adjusting to how she is.

There are many married couples that live happily and harmoniously with their parents. This requires all parties to be open-minded.

 


Tanya Ustaz Haniff #6: Bakal Isteri Payah Berpisah Dengan Ibunya

Soalan:

Saya ada masalah di mana bakal isteri saya tidak mahu berpisah dengan ibunya dan mahu ibunya tinggal bersama kami setelah berkahwin.

Sejujurnya, saya tidak setuju kerana saya akan berasa kurang selesa apabila semua hal rumahtangga saya diketahui oleh bakal ibu mertua saya.

Pastinya saya mahukan privasi dalam berumahtangga dan pastinya saya tidak mahu ibu-bapa saya berasa segan apabila hendak menziarahi rumah kami nanti.

Apakah penyelesaian kepada permasalahan saya ini, Ustaz?

Jawapan:

Hal ini bukan masalah hukum agama. Ia lebih merupakan masalah psikologi rumahtangga. Oleh itu, sebaiknya anda bertanya pada pakar kaunseling rumahtangga.

Masalah sebegini tiada jawapan atau huraian yang mudah dan muktamad. Ia bergantung pada keadaan yang ada. Tiada juga satu huraian atau jawapan yang sempurna. Apa jua huraian, pasti ada kebaikan dan keburukannya.

Oleh itu, dari segi agama dan rasional, panduannya ialah untuk anda membuat keputusan berdasarkan apa yang lebih banyak kebaikan dan kurang kemudaratannya.

Prosesnya pula ialah dengan berbincang bersama bakal isteri dan ibu mertua tentang hasrat dan harapan masing-masing. Lalu, cari jalan tolak ansur yang terbaik (bukan yang paling sempurna).

Hasrat anda untuk berdikari dan ada privasi memang wajar, tetapi ia juga bukan bermakna mesti dilakukan secara mendadak.

Perkahwinan memerlukan perubahan daripada semua pihak. Tetapi, tidak semua pihak boleh berubah pada kadar yang segera.

Tambahan pula, apa jua perubahan hendaklah dilakukan secara beransur-ansur. Mungkin ini yang diperlukan oleh bakal isteri anda dengan bantuan anda juga.

Renungkan, mungkin juga yang terbaik bukan meminta bakal isteri anda berubah, tetapi diri anda sendiri yang patut berusaha untuk menyesuaikan diri pada keadaan bakal isteri anda.

Terdapat ramai pasangan yang berumahtangga dan hidup bersama orang tua mereka dalam keadaan harmoni dan bahagia. Semua pihak perlu bersikap terbuka.

Filed Under: Malay/Melayu, Q&A, Ust Haniff Tagged With: conflict, family, in-laws, marriage

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  • Ask Ustaz Haniff: Umrah Without Husband & Paying for His Umrah Trip 11th October 2016
  • Ask Ustaz Haniff: Future Wife Reluctant to Live Away from Her Mother 23rd September 2016
  • Ask Ustaz Haniff: Should I Use My Savings for Hajj or Umrah? 25th August 2016
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